Decoding Temper Tantrums 

We’ve all experienced it: Your child bursts into tears or has a fit of rage when you take away a favorite toy or tell them it’s bedtime. This is your classic temper tantrum. It often happens when your child is frustrated because they aren’t getting what they want.   

Tantrums are common in young children. In fact, they are a normal part of a toddler’s development. It’s a way for them to start expressing their opinions and independence. Typically, temper tantrums last no longer than 15 minutes and happen fewer than five times a day.   

So, what can you do when your child throws a tantrum?   

Identify Why Your Child is Having a Tantrum  

Whether it’s to get attention or because your child isn’t able to communicate what they want, it’s important to figure out the real reason behind your child’s frustrations so that you can respond appropriately.  

Stick to Your Daily Routine  

Change is sometimes hard for children. Try to be as consistent as possible with your child’s daily activities. If you must change something in their schedule, tell your child in advance and tell them exactly what to expect.  

Help Your Child Communicate  

It may be that your child gets upset because they’re having trouble expressing what they’re feeling. If this happens, find ways to help them communicate using visual supports or by naming and describing different emotions.  

Reinforce Positive Behavior  

Whenever your child shows good behavior in response to small problems or situations, pile on the praise and affection. Giving them attention when they’re behaving well will help them respond positively in the future.  

Give Your Child Choices  

The source of a tantrum may be that your child wants to be more independent and in control. Let them feel like they have some control by giving them choices.   

Provide Distractions  

If your child is frustrated with a particular game or activity, come up with another one that they’re good at and like to do. Start playing that game and wait to see if your child will come and join you.   

Try Changing the Topic  

If your child is upset because they can’t go outside to play, bring up something fun that you’re planning to do with them later that day or week.  

Consider Ignoring Your Child’s Tantrum  

As long as your child isn’t harming themselves or others, ignoring them may put an end to a tantrum.   

A Final Reminder 

Remember, tantrums are normal for toddlers and preschoolers. If your child is older and still throwing tantrums, talk to a behavioral health professional about ways to help your child develop self-regulation skills that will help manage their anxiety and anger.