The Power of Caregiver-Mediated ABA: How a Teacher Became Her Son’s Best Educator

Every great teacher recognizes that learning never ends. And that means every great teacher is still an enthusiastic student.

As a 4^th grade teacher when her son was diagnosed with autism, Stephanie Taheri was experienced in guiding children with behavioral issues and understood the mutual benefits that could be gained by learning new strategies to help mitigate disruptiveness.  

She reached out to her health insurance provider and pediatrician when her 6-year-old’s texture sensitivities – especially with hand soap, sanitizer and toothbrushes – and destructive outbursts were becoming problematic. After being referred to Catalight, the Taheris enrolled in caregiver-mediated applied behavioral analysis (ABA) with an Easterseals Northern California clinician, which is part of the Catalight family of companies.

Parents as Teachers

With the philosophy that parents can be their child’s best teacher, caregiver-mediated treatments put parents at the forefront of their child’s care. With traditional ABA, paraprofessionals work with the child. Caregiver-mediated ABA differs in that therapists work directly with caregivers to teach them behavioral modification methods – giving them strategies and tools to use with their kids around the clock and during the most pivotal times when disruptive behavior is occurring.

To Stephanie, an educator, learning and applying ABA techniques at home felt like an extension of her teaching experience, just in a new setting.

“I’ve seen how beneficial it can be to have an expert come in and give alternative strategies,” she said. “I feel like I came in with a very open mind, and I was eager to learn and try whatever strategies they were offering me. I know how helpful it is to have someone else who has other experiences come in and say, ‘well, have you tried this?’ It was fabulous. I think I’m the biggest cheerleader for the program. I thought it was amazing.”

Small Steps on a Path to Wellbeing

Goals were set for the Taheris and baby steps were taken to reach the desired outcome. For handwashing, their son was gradually exposed to soap little by little to the point where it became part of his habit. First, Stephanie and her husband stopped reminding him to washup after using the restroom but would smell his hands to check. Sure enough, they would smell like soap each time. Now, they don’t even need to do that.

The brushing goal was a bit harder, but Stephanie’s therapist came up with the idea of employing oral swabs – small blue sponges on a stick. Her son took to that because he was wiping his teeth instead of brushing them. The next step was adding odorless, flavorless mouthwash to the swab. Along the way to the ultimate goal, her son started a negotiation: Asking for a Star Wars toy if he touched his teeth with a real toothbrush. A deal was struck: First for one second, then three, then twice a day. A month’s worth of achievement earned the toy with further incentives after progressing to some scrubbing and, eventually, toothpaste.

“If something was too much for him too quick, our therapist was very good about it, saying, ‘OK, let’s backpedal. We can break this down into even smaller steps.’ He did really, really great. He knows what it means to work on goals now,” Stephanie said. “So many things have made our lives better because of this program.”

For Catalight, greater wellbeing is considered the ultimate outcome – meaningful and doable goals that, when accomplished, make life easier and happier for families. Caregiver-mediated approaches also allow families more flexibility and cut down on stress.

Stephanie started her parent training in late June 2023 by meeting with her therapist via Zoom twice a week for an hour. Those meetings started to taper down in the fall when the family was making significant strides. The Taheris graduated in December after less than 6 months of training. 

“I cried on our last one,” Stephanie said. “I was like, ‘I’m so happy but I’m so sad I don’t get to talk to you anymore.’”

A Parent’s Evolution

Before the turning point of seeking out support, Stephanie’s son’s tantrums – when he didn’t get his way – were beginning to seem insurmountable and starting to escalate into destructive and sometimes violent behavior. He was breaking household items, crying, becoming inconsolable and demanding that his parents apologize to him for causing the outbursts.

Prior to therapy, Stephanie and her husband would often just give in and apologize for the sake of moving on. After starting therapy, they realized doing so was only encouraging more outbursts.

“It was very hard, but so worth it,” said Stephanie. “By December we had learned how to help him manage his behaviors and help us manage how we react to his behaviors in a way that was more productive, and we felt confident taking it on. There’s been a few regressions but, for the most part, we feel confident in how to handle the situation when that occurs.”

Over the months, she learned new ways of controlling behaviors – strategies that didn’t just focus on her son’s actions but also on how the family responded. It was about learning to manage not only his actions, but their own reactions.

Everything really clicked for Stephanie when her therapist showed her a behavior extinction graph. When parents give in, they’re climbing a mountain of exponentially increasing bad behavior – a child will soon realize they can get what they want by acting out. The first time it’s 10 minutes of crying. If that doesn’t work the second time, it’s 15 minutes of crying. 20 minutes and destructive actions the third time and on and on.

“I held strong through the worst of it and it’s been downhill from there,” Stephanie said.

It wasn’t just her son who changed – Stephanie’s approach to parenting evolved. By the end of the year, The Taheris were ready to take on the challenges of autism management independently and what they had learned from their sessions became second nature when confronted with regression.

What she called the program “homework” – data collection and materials – was especially meaningful to Stephanie. She tracked behaviors and precursor events to tantrums on Catalight’s myBrightlink app. Each session, the therapist would review the data, coach Stephanie into deciphering the cause of the behavior and give strategies on how to address attention seeking, avoidance or whatever the root cause was.

“At one point, I remember telling my therapist, ‘thank you, you’ve changed our lives,’” Stephanie said. “Because we could go in public, and he wouldn’t have a meltdown where he lays on the ground and says, ‘my legs don’t work’ and screams. It was so embarrassing. He follows directions so much easier now. I didn’t worry about him as much going to school and being in a classroom. Before, I was always apologizing to teachers for his behaviors. But, through this therapy and him becoming aware of appropriate choices and not appropriate choices, it has changed his life significantly. Most people that meet him have no idea that he’s diagnosed with autism.”

The Teacher’s Lens: A New Perspective on Behavior

Stephanie didn’t just absorb what she was taught in caregiver-mediated session for herself, she applied it directly in her classroom and educated her whole family.

In dealing with difficult students, she started utilizing the strategy of giving kids the power of choice and instilling in them a greater sense of autonomy. For example, she would ask a student who refused to participate in work, “would you like to do this task in one minute or two minutes? You choose or I choose.” With skin in the game, the child was willing to take it on.

The strength of such caregiver-mediated methods, as Stephanie discovered, lies in its ability to empower both children and adults to feel in control of their decisions.

Stephanie was also able to show family members skeptical of ‘planned ignoring’ strategies the extinction chart and then the results. A lot of caregivers get tired of the behavior and give in because it’s the immediate and easy solution, she explained, but they don’t understand it’s making matters worse in the long run.

When asked if her 9-year-old daughter benefited from the training, Stephanie laughed and said that, at one point, she heard her ask her brother, “Do you want to play with me in two minutes or three minutes?”

Before the therapy, challenging behaviors had the family walking on eggshells and left the Taheris’ daughter especially feeling neglected. The Taheris were often forced to cater to their son’s wants to avoid meltdowns even when Stephanie recognized it wasn’t fair.

“Now they’re just very typical,” Stephanie said. “They have the same rules. They have the same expectations. It’s nice.”

Stephanie’s willingness to learn new methods can be attributed to her teaching background, but it also highlights a broader truth: The first step of caregiver-mediated ABA isn’t about teaching children – it’s about teaching parents. Many caregivers report that their involvement shows them how to be better parents by helping them understand their child’s needs – neurotypical or neurodiverse.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help,” is Stephanie’s advice to other caregivers. “So many times, in confronting these behaviors, we think we’re bad parents and that it’s our fault, but it’s not. Everybody has something to work on, and no one knows everything. Having experts who handle situations like this in your life is so beneficial when you’re trying to figure it out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help because the help is awesome.”

As a teacher, Stephanie already knew that education is not just about imparting knowledge, but about empowering others to apply it. Through some guidance with caregiver-led therapy, she was able to combine that principle with her family dynamic and, in doing so, become the best teacher, parent and parent teacher she could be.